Fat Chick: the New Chic?

Flipping through the television stations, I stopped at a very large woman getting assistance off a scale. Tyra announces that this woman weighs in at 513 lbs(233 kg)! Barely able to walk, her husband assisted her back to her seat on the couch while tears were streaming down her face. (Okay, I would cry if I weighed 513 lbs. but not for the same reason) She thought she would have weighed 600 lbs. Her lofty goal is to reach 1000 lbs (455 kg) and it was upsetting to her,that she is only half-way there. So you are going to cry about it ...get serious! At what point does one set a goal like that? When I grow up... I want to be a Fat Chick!

Chocolate For Every Occasion

Easter is just around the corner, and my son brought a Malley's Candies catalog home from school. Personally, I think it's the best chocolate ever. My friend and I looked through the pages filled with varied chocolate bunnies, eggs and jelly beans. All the goodies one would find in a child's Easter basket.

Then we got to the last page featuring "Break Up Chocolate". The perfect gift for the one you were keeping around so you weren't alone on Valentines Day.... or so you had a date for your class reunion. Is this the perfect gift to say "See Ya"?
No explanation needed, just hand over the Break Up Chocolate and run!

Which Liddy is the Real Creep?

Huffington Post named Edward Liddy as Creep of the Week. Understandably, since he attempted to justify the AIG employees bonuses and lavish spa treatments after US taxpayers bailed out the failing company to a tune of $170,000,000,000.

The bonuses awarded totaled more than 164 million dollars, with some individuals receiving more than $1,000,000. These bonuses were given to the very people who put AIG in their predicament in the first place. Are they crooks or just stupid people rewarded for their stupidity?

He claims the spa treatments are "standard practice in our industry." So I would like to hear from any one out there who works in the insurance or financial services industry and regularly receives "spa treatments".

Creep of the Week, Edward Liddy hales from New Jersey. G. Gordon Liddy, who is a CREEP alumni (Committee to re-elect the President) and convicted felon on charges relating to his Watergate involvement is also from New Jersey.

Does anyone know if these Liddy creeps are related?

My Living Will

My friend, Lori, sent me this note:

Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,

'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

She got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.....

Microsoft Tech Support

I had to share this one. It is only one minute and make sure you read along. Toooo funny

Funny Pictures for the Day

Turn Off The Toaster- Tech Support Solutions

After receiving many emails and comments about the rising trend of mediocrity and ineptness of businesses and their employees, I thought I would share this one.

A friend recently moved into a new apartment and was in need of an internet service provider. After researching the options, the best choice for him was an ALLTEL internet card. It is a contraption inserted into the side of your laptop giving the user the ability to get the internet ANYWHERE,ANYTIME....or so he was told by the ALLTEL salesperson.

The unit worked flawlessly for several days. The third day, Brian was unable to get a connection in his apartment. He made a call to ALLTEL tech support and was told that perhaps someone in his building was using a toaster. A toaster? (Mrs Kacharkus, could you please turn off your toaster?...or pack it up in Abdul's handbag and get the hell out! see 3-1-09 post)

Brian utilizes the internet primarily for email and/or Facebook so it wasn't imperative to get connected at that time. He was able to connect in most other places without a hitch but not in his apartment. He called several days later to report it again, (surely, whoever was using their toaster, should be finished by now). He also explained that he had "no problems" elsewhere.

The gentleman at ALLTEL asked, "Does it work outside the building?"
"Yes."
"Do you own a car?"
"Yes.I have a van." He answered slightly baffled. Why would this matter, he thought.
"Why don't you go sit in your van when you want to go online?"
What a great idea! Thank God for tech support! Except he lives in Cleveland and it's 14 degrees outside!

Does anyone else see a recurring theme? Stupid people HAVE jobs!

My Experience at Texas Roadhouse

Last night my father, son and I decided to have dinner at Texas Roadhouse in Brooklyn,OH.
When I returned home I realized that my wallet must have fallen out of my purse so I called the restaurant to ask if any one had found it.

I was put on hold and was made to listen to the obnoxious Roadhouse music. After several minutes, maybe 3 the hostess picked up and gave the usual salutation as if I had just called. I then asked her if I could speak to my waitress, Leah. I was again put on hold. My son, who is 9, said, "Let's just drive back." Good idea since it is a 5-6 minute drive. I drove back with my cell phone still stuck in my ear waiting for Leah.

Leah got to the phone as a pulled into their lot. I told her I was already there so I was going to come in and take a look.

When I walked in, I mentioned my situation to the hostess. She knew that I was just on the phone and told me to wait "here" at the hostess station.
"No, that's okay," I said, "I'll just go take a look near the table."

Our table was probably one of the farthest from the door, and when I got within two tables away, Leah cut me off at the pass.
Leah nervously stated,"My manager said there is nothing we can do because there is already a party seated there."

I thought WTF does that mean but said, "I'm here, I'll just check."
"No, I am getting the manager." The threat was similar to that of 'telling the teacher'. Off she ran, so I went for it... the criminal trying to steal a wallet.....oh wait it's mine.

I explained my plight to the party of 5 adults at the table. The 2 gentlemen, on the side where I sat, felt into the back of the seat cushion. The one got up as I peered into the dark (and by the way, dirty)abyss under the table.

Success! I found my wallet with the $250.00 still in it and all my credit cards.

I felt bad for disturbing their meal so I offered them a $20 for their trouble and assistance. They refused and ultimately shoved back into my son's jacket pocket.
We made it out the door before Leah returned with her manager.

Is this ridiculous? Does anyone know if this is their corporate policy? Would you be offended if someone lost something and disturbed your meal? Let's be serious ..this isn't fine dining for God's sake ..they serve peanuts in a bucket!

WELCOME ART OF JESSE FRIENDS

I see my buddy Jesse has posted my babies on his blog..If you followed the link ....welcome...and please feel free to leave me a comment. Any friend of Jesse's is a friend of mine!

Kmart Fail

see more pwn and owned pictures

Paula Abdul Designs Handbags

Add to Paula Abdul's talents: Handbag Designer. She has designed an enormous shoulder bag and attempts to sell it on the Home Shopping Club. The best feature she says, "You can carry a toaster and a loaf of bread in it." Bummer.... I was in need of one that would hold my microwave and a side of beef.
She also added that it can hold 2 bottles of Beam and a vial of Vicadin.

Paula Abdul usually botches her public appearances in one way or another. My question is it that she is drunk or did she forget to take some very important and very needed medication?